Psalm 77

This crazy journey has begun to take shape. Jill and I have officially decided to head to Kenya. The whole decision-making process has been so challenging for us, because we hadn't heard the Lord saying which way we should go. We prayed every night since August for the Lord to "just tell us" what to do so that we could follow. Instead of a definite response, silence met us... Until.

About a month ago we were at a point where we needed to start making some decisions about what we would be doing after this year ended. Both Jill and I have been praying for open and closed doors, promising God that we would walk through doors the He left open. However, I was certain that God was going to open a door that included a *paid* position, and refused to raise support with a mission agency. One night, Jill pointed out that I have been open to any idea, so long as it didn't involve raising support, and wondered aloud whether I was trying to shut a door that the Lord was leaving open. So, we tentatively committed to going to Kenya with EMM. We told Rosslyn that we were coming, and began moving that direction.

Then, a few weeks ago, we received the budget, and realized that we would have to raise $39,000 a year. All was not calm in the Milton household. I just about turned tail and chose any door other than going abroad: I could get a teaching certification, learn some carpentry skills or collect the trash. All of these are, of course, very noble positions in their own right, but not what God was calling us to at this point in our lives.

The next day, the Lord gave me two different verses. First, Matthew 6:25 reads, "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Second, Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Unfortunately, I didn't have that peace, though, and told God that either He had to instill that peace in me, or I was finding something else to do for the next three years.

The next day in class (I'm currently in grad school), the professor opened the day with Matthew 6. I thought to myself, "ok, Lord, you have my attention." Then, the topic of the entire class focused on fundraising... I was amazed, and, for the first time in a very long time could hear the Lord confirm this direction for our lives at this time. From this experience, I have felt God's peace, and know that He will provide.

...Which brings me to Psalm 77. Throughout this entire decision-making process, both Jill and I have lamented the fact that we haven't heard or seen God at work. The entire process would have been far easier "if only" the Lord would have written His answer to us in the sky. That scenario didn't happen... But, a far more rich story took place. For our wedding gift this past August, Em bought us two mugs and wrote Psalm 77:19 on the bottom which reads, "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen." We're only now seeing how all the puzzle pieces from this scene in our lives fit together. The Lord was present, leading us through this decision, although "his footprints were not seen." We couldn't see Him. However, as we look back, we realize that the Lord lived with us and led us through, and now we can confidently go forward holding white-knuckled onto this marker of God's presence with us. In any decision, regardless of whether we can see or feel God at work, we need to point back to these miracles of "God with us" in our lives that remind us of the Lord's goodness. Now onward to Kenya as the Lord leads... even if He is unseen.

more adventures to come.
nm